Tonight I made dinner, and I realized that my wife and I have a difference that we hadn’t yet discussed in our relationship. I broached the subject and mentioned the following;
“You see—you think that when I make dinner, I shouldn’t have to do the dishes. But I know from past experiences (missionary companions, college roommates, myself) that if I don’t do them, I can’t guarantee that if I cook that someone else will come behind me to clean up”
She responded, “But that’s not fair of right! You cooked, so you shouldn’t have to clean up too!”
This was a couple of things.
First, it was an indication of how lovely and fair my dear wife is. She loves equality in relationships, and always wants to help carry the load—knowing that it isn’t fair for one person to do more than another.
I then again mentioned past experiences and how I differ.
Because we all leave dirty dishes.
We all leave laundry undone.
Maybe we forget to take out the trash.
As I sit here writing, I think about how uneven the world can be.
I think of my amazing wife, heading off from our little one to teach the precious children of 24 families. I think of her worrying for our little family, and all of those of the kids in her class, and of all the other things she has to do just to exist as a mother, a woman, a professional, a teacher.
When I think of those things, the dishes seem easy. So I do them. I had a dear friend once teach me that when you love someone, you serve them.
And when it comes down to it—life isn’t measured by who did the dishes more, folded more towels, or took more bags of trash to the curb—life is measured by the number of hearts we touch and brighten, starting with our own and our own.
Our own family and our own soul.
Because when we think of uneven labor distribution, there’s definitely one who did more dishes than we can ever scrub, one who folded all the laundry in the world, and took out all of our trash before we knew it was there.
So let’s do our share of the load today—and maybe even a little extra.